Answered Prayer.

As a new mom, I have experienced a whole slew of intense emotions that I never had imagined I could feel before regarding my tiny little newborn. Especially in the first few weeks after bringing James home from the hospital, I would lay awake in bed listening anxiously to every noise and grunt he made. About 619 times per hour, I would get out of bed and run to his bassinet to check if he was choking or still breathing. Even though we were blessed with a sleeper who really only required us to get out of bed 2 or 3 times a night to feed him, I was wearing myself out with anxiety over his state of being. The other feelings of being an inadequate mom, guilt over not holding him 24 hours a day etc. etc. etc., were nothing like the almost constant sence of terror I held in wondering if I would be able to keep him alive. I wondered if I would ever be able to relax and enjoy my time with James as a newborn, since I was well aware that he would be so little for only so long.
Finally, December 23rd I had had enough. I knew I could pray about anything, but I had been reluctant to really trust that God could take my anxiety away and even for that matter, be a very real source of protection and security for us. I was able to honestly pray how I felt and asked if God could not only take away my complete sence of anxiety regarding James, but also protect us in every possible way that I was not even aware of or able to be knowledgeable of. I had read so many books on baby care, but I still felt that a lack of knowledge over some random detail would be my downfall. I can legitimately say that after my prayer time, I felt a new sense of peace and I was able to actually enjoy hanging out with James that day.
The next day, Christmas Eve, was no different than any other day. Josh was off work but had a number of things to do including Christmas shopping which left me and James home in the afternoon. James was down for his nap and was due to get up for his 3:30 feeding. Since he was such an intense sleeper, we usually have to wake him. This gives us an advantage since we are able to prepare his bottle ahead of time and even time housework around his sleeping shcedule. I remember looking at the clock and seeing that it was almost 3:15. I was about to put his bottle on the stove to warm it up for him, when I decided that I would wait until I was done running some stuff down to the basement. I did not want the bottle to burn if I was gone to long.
I had a cardtable that was wedged in between the wall and an old pipe (hidden behind a pantry) in our mud room. The cardtable had been stucking out like a sore thumb and I had been meaning to remove it and take it downstairs for a while. I went to pull it out, but it had become stuck. Feeling determined, I went and pulled harder. The cardtable came out, but instantly a loud hissing noise and a strong noxious odor started gushing out from some valve I had hit on the pipe. In a matter of seconds I was able to find my cell phone that was in my purse just a few feet away. (That never happens since I usually don't remember what I did with my purse or if it was even charged for that matter). Frantically I dialed Josh's number, but he was not able to answer. The smell was quickly becoming overwhelming, and not knowing for sure what it was, I did the only thing I could think to do. I ran to the bassinet, grabbed James, and on the way out the front door I grabbed a thick blanket on the couch and wrapped James tightly in it since it was very cold out. I shut the door behind me and dialed 911. After I talked to a calm dispatcher, I dialed Josh again. I was able to get a hold of him, but he was at walmart where it was a madhouse. He said he would be home as quick as he could. The minute I hung up with Josh, my phone died, another random detail - it had lasted just long enough to call 911 and Josh. A minute later a cop car pulled up. The cop told me to get off the porch and stand out in the street. Even though I did not have a coat or shoes, I was so nervous I don't even remember the weather. As the cop was talking to me, I could hear the sirens in the back. I asked the cop if my house would actually catch fire if it really was a gas leak. His only response was that they were treating the matter urgently, which made my stomach tie up in knots. The thought of losing everything except for myself and the baby left me feeling nautious. The firetruck responded within three minutes of my call to 911. 5 firemen jumped off the truck and after hearing where the pipe was, rushed in the house. At that point the smell of gas was strong enough that even neighbors and the cop were able to identify it as gas. I was asked if I had anything lit in the house - the stove or candles. I remembered how I had almost turned the formula on, and thankfully said no, not that I could remember. At this point, one of the neighbors had come over and offered to let me and James come and stay with them in their warm house while the firemen finished. Josh arrived soon after while the fire department aired out our house (after shutting the valve off) and checked with sensors throughout the house to make sure everything was safe.
After everything was over, I was struck by the thought of how we had been physically protected by God. If I had not thought to wait to heat the formula, the house would have exploded with me and James in it within seconds. It would probably have also caused other houses on the block to catch fire as well, since we are within close proximity to them. I was reminded very specifically how I had prayed the day before for God to watch over us, but especially in ways I could not as a mom watch over my son. I was grateful that God not only heard my prayer, but He more than provided a real example in my mind that He is capable of being trusted with our worse fears.